Balancing Work and Home as a Single Parent
by: Heather Mess
As a young entrepreneur and a single parent, I have a lot on my plate. So, the question everyone always seems to have is "How do you do it?" Sorry to tell you, there isn't an easy answer. From making it to meetings at the office to driving back and forth to preschool, and everything in between, there isn't much room for error or leisure.
Assuming a goal in everyone's life is to have a healthy balance of work, family, and social life, I have thought of a few tips that I keep in mind that help me with achieving that goal:
1. Schedule, Schedule, Schedule
First is to plan as much as you can, while maintaining some flexibility. Having a schedule to know when it's time for work, and when it's time for family. At the office, I maintain 100% focus on maintain the business, but when I get home with Maria, that means it's 100% Maria time. There are day when Maria is sick, and that's where the flexibility comes to play because then I know that I'll have to shift the schedule.
2. Prioritizing Your Life
Agreeing that both your job and family are important, kids know when you don't spend time with them. If I have to go on a business trip, I make sure I schedule a little extra Maria time for when I get back, or turn it into a family vacation if possible. Having your family's support will make your work better.
3. Enjoy Each Moment
It's so easy to rush from one task to another without really being there for each moment. Instead of thinking about what's next on the schedule, enjoy the moment that you're in because you'll never get it back.
4. Hire for Home and Work
Having a support system to help with how your child is being raised is a huge help. Recruit some local family members to help out when your caregiver is unavailable or a situation comes up (as all parents know they do). Also, be sure that everyone involved in your child's upbringing are on the same page. I feel that kids learn a lot about time management and life balance from parents who have careers.
5. Date Your Kids!
Two nights a week I make special with Maria. I let her pick what we're having for supper and have her help me make it. What ever the activity is, make sure it is a special time that the child can count on to have with you every week to get to know each other one on one. This tip is healthy for any parent child relationship no matter how many parents or kids in the home. Spending one on one time with a child shows them they can count on you. Guard these nights with your life and never reschedule!
6. Just Do It!
With so many top priorities on my plate, there isn't much room for things like sleeping in or taking a sick day, or asking someone else to do it. As a single parent running a business, I have to get Maria ready for school and get here there on time, cook and clean, all while finding a way to make it to the office to run a business. I often remember the sign on the front of my 5th grade teachers desk "No Excuses" while I'm multitasking my way through the day.
7. Compartmentalize Everything
We spend all of our time trying to balance work and home, when sometimes learning to compartmentalize is a better method. Leaving work at work and family at family may prove to be the best way to stay 100% focused on each.
8. Use Your Time Wisely
When you have a kid, you quickly realize how much time you were wasting before you had a kid. I find that using time wisely makes a huge difference. Taking advantage of nap time or lunch breaks makes the world of a difference.
9. Incorporate Your Life into Business
I like to incorporate what I'm doing in my life, and the experiences that I've had, into different projects. A lot of what we go through as parents oddly correlate to life in the professional world; whether it's having ups and downs, or going through first experiences, we can learn a lot from each other as well as engage our kids in these conversations.
11. Get Rid of the Excuses
Don't try to justify spending more time than you need at work by saying it can provide a better future for your kids. Personal time with your kids is a very limited resource, and you can never get it back. Put down the iPhone and focus on your kids when you're with them.
12. Honor Rituals and Commitments
Children thrive on routine so develop and honor certain rituals like family dinner, bedtime, or movie night. Make sure that no matter what, they can depend on you to be there during those key times. Also, make and keep your commitments to your ids. This shows them that they can trust you and that they are a priority.
